By Deepa C, [ Saturday, December  9, 2006  ]

“Why is it that I am the one to decide on everything, why don’t you do it?”

Being at the receiving end, this comment prompted me to initiate some real thinking process. “Why do I do it..?” or rather “not do it..”..

I do it daily at office. But why not in personal life. Why is there something that holds me back in airing my likes and dislikes in a personal circle? What’s going on..?

So here I am, listing down the areas where I hand over the “decision hat” to others. A long list indeed but most of them trivial and stupid.

Situation 1 :  Am made the decision maker of the “Ordering” process at a restaurant - I start confidently but somehow lose track down the path. I end up pestering everyone about what they would like to attack..

But hey… that comes up only when am with my mom/dad or my better half or someone who is really close to me.., not when I am with my colleagues where I shell out my preferences without any hesitation. That’s strange. Must be am really selfish..

Hmm.. going down the list, most of the items came down to the same old spot..

I have this issue only when I have to take a decision that, in some way or the other affects someone who I care.. Be it "stomachic" or anything else for that matter, even the trivial best… Given the podium, the ‘should I - shouldn’t I, what if’ syndrome starts.

Now, I want to know if it’s good or bad. In a way it could be good because in the heart of hearts I just want the other person to be happy. As long as it is not totally against my likes I adjust with it, for good or bad. Here also, am I being selfish.. in some way…

On the negative side, I might be sending the wrong signs. I might be picturing myself as someone who can’t even decide on, whether to have tomato or chicken soup as starter!! And in turn let everyone make a judgment—“It’s best not to ask her.. She will end up asking you back”.

And, is “adjusting” the right choice? On your bluest best, when all negative thoughts dine alfresco, you might even start thinking whether you have been the ‘punching bag’. Though you carefully forget that you are the sole initiator for the butterfly effect.

And then on a very positive note.. the other person would have asked you for your decision because he really wants to go by your wish. Why not give him a chance…

I have met and talked to many who would fall in the same “thought group” cadre. Perhaps it’s high time for us to churn this “trait” in a ‘thought tank’. Continuing with it might be good for some; bad for some. We should at least think over it before choosing our path…

And I, here by conclude that, perhaps, I should treat the comment I received in a constructive manner, though I was more in a ready to fight mood when it hit me. Perhaps, I should understand that I can still make decisions and yet not necessarily make anyone unhappy.

So for next week,… it’s tomato soup…
 
 

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