Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna………

How true and I am sure everybody wishes that they never have to say "good bye" to their loved ones. It takes a lot of strength and a plethora of emotions before anybody can bid farewell to a well-meaning relationship. This cant be more true than in case of the most sacred, warm and a lifetime relationship of marriage.

I would be lying if I say I wasn’t affected or deeply moved by this story woven around 4 different characters. I also got tremendously impacted by the strong reactions and emotions it invoked from the junta. People have criticized and debated at length on what could have been a different outcome and have held discussions on whether the institution of marriage is falling apart or does the concept itself needs some kind of rethinking….et al….

What went amiss among all the hoopla was what could be some of the takeaways from this experience for us.

Takeaways from a bollywood movie?

Many would look askance. Yes, that exactly is the thought process and why not? Isn't media a reflection of true life.

We hear this numerous times so we can in our own ways pick up few lessons from this so called entertainment industry.

For instance, instead of asking why “Maya” and “Dev” did what they did, we could peek into the lives of all these characters and think what they need not have done or done to prevent the disaster that finally struck all of them.

Going by the characters in the movie, Rhea (Preity Zinta), who comes across as a strong and exuberant character, once suggested to her colleagues in office that work is pivotal and takes priority over family. However a series of experiences, that triggered self-introspection, led her to ultimately change her viewpoint - "husbands do matter and so no more late nights!!!" - words from the same person. But alas, t' was too late.

Dev Saran (Shah Rukh Khan), basically an introvert, almost a brooder, who exhibits loath for the whole world around him, his son included due to over-indulgence in self-pity. Could he have taken a more pragmatic outlook and been a more supportive husband at the same time keeping himself more engaged in activities that he could have still performed.

There's no dearth of jobs for the ones with the right attitude they say and the more fuel we add to resentment lesser is the space left for gratitude.

Rishi (Abhishek Bachchan), it took him three long years of separation from his beloved to understand not just her but his own self. Its wonderful to be great pals with your own father but it takes a whole lot of effort to understand and be there when your partner needs you. Which bride would like it if she finds out that the groom was sleeping on his wedding day barely awake and aware of the most important day in his life.

Maya (Rani Mukerji), coy and demure, mostly involved in her surreal thoughts and a world full of a lot many fairy-tale dreams. Could she probably have been more clear of what she wanted before taking the big decision, both before getting married and subsequently breaking it. Probably spending some more time and energy could have prevented, not just her marriage but even cleared the clouds gathered over her mind.

On the whole, the feature is a sharp reminder to all of us to not take people for granted especially the ones who are closest to us. I do believe marriages are made in heaven but can they be broken on earth just because

·        We are of different personality types.

·        We don’t have all the time to spend with each other.

·        We don’t think in the same direction at the same time.

·        We don’t understand each other all the time.

It would do good for everyone to understand that such a bond has to withstand the test of many ups and downs and turbulence and that it would be better not to get into it in case you are not ready for it or have any doubts what-so-ever.

To summarise. It was a poignant tale of 4 people who ended up treading on a difficult path with seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

Does someone care to pick up a few lessons from the same ?